A few weeks ago I was caught by the biggest surprise of my life. For two days my girlfriend Sarah had been acting a bit funny around me and I couldn’t figure out why. I had a suspicion when she had mentioned something about an appointment in a text message and thinking back to a crazy night I briefly thought about what later she revealed to me.
We had a delicious Greek style lamb dinner at a friend’s house but she was unusually quiet and distant. After dinner she wanted to go home early which was surprising as we usually play a game or two with these friends after dinner.
Sitting on my couch she says to me, “I have some crazy info,” a long pause follows then she reveals, “I’m pregnant.”
I thought back to the text message, the crazy night, and my observation that her time of the month hadn’t come. My brain and mouth seemed to disconnect as I wrapped my head around these words. I pulled out enough breath to say something like, “Wow.”
She asked what I thought and I said, “That I would be there for her and do whatever it took.” The usual options in this scenario were discussed and we came to the conclusion that having this child was the best option. Then I said, “Guess I should start calling you my girlfriend then.” She kind of laughed a bit and said, “So it’s official now?” We had been seeing so much of each other that we considered each other in the manner but had never really said anything to make it official.
It took me a few days to really grasp what was going on. My mind was running in overdrive as it swarmed with how my life is going to change and how I’m going to be responsible for another life. The first person I chose to tell my sister. She helped me calm down a bit and put me on a better path of thought as shared some of her experience raising my nephew.
The next few days I started telling more people starting with my band, family, co-workers, and friends. It seemed every time I mentioned it the more comfortable I became. It was therapeutic in a way to have all my friends congratulate me and tell me how great a father I will be.
I think the day I really settled into the whole thing was the Saturday after I received the news. I started going through my phone and calling random friends that I hadn’t talked to in a while. It almost seemed more surprising to some that I was dating than having a baby. I guess I have lived the musician lifestyle for so long that they didn’t expect me to ever settle for someone when in reality I never really found anyone that I felt I could hang out with. Who would have thought that it would take 31 years to find someone that enjoyed snowboarding and rock climbing?
Over the past few weeks the rate that Sarah and I were growing closer increased rapidly. We were suddenly faced with the fact that we were going to be connected for the rest of our lives and it was time to figure out as much as possible about the other. Certain discussions had to be vetted for the true motive.
Now my apartment is slowly filling with what Sarah calls, “Girly things,” as she starts to move in. She is also starting to bring me out of some bad habits as I watch less TV and my taste in music is starting to rub off on her. So we continue on this path without really knowing where it will take us as we try to keep the spontaneous nature of the relationship intact. Words that most couples throw around go unsaid as we want to make sure that they are spoken for the right reasons and not because the pressures of society. For some unexplainable reason we have found each other, gone against our usual practices to be with each other, and have been blessed with a child that we will raise to the best of our ability. What more could we ask for?